The One Where Rachel Realizes She Was Wrong
by molly22
Summary: AKA The Last One Done Right--Rachel wakes up after sleeping with Ross and realizes she doesn’t love him. There’s only one problem–he’s realized he’s madly in love with her. My version of how the last episode should have gone.
1. Chapter One

Title: The One Where Rachel Realizes She Was Wrong (The Last One Done Right)  
  
Author: molly22  
  
Summary: Rachel wakes up after sleeping with Ross and realizes she doesn't love him. There's only one problem–he's realized he's madly in love with her. My version of how the last episode should have gone.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Friends. Don't sue me. For entertainment (and the relieving of frustration at my disappointment of the last episode) only.   
  
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"Good morning, sweetie," a bleary-eyed Ross Geller whispered to the lump beside him that was Rachel Green. Her body face were hidden mostly under the covers, but the top of her dark blonde head stuck out, her hair tangled. Even the top of her head seemed beautiful to him.   
  
Rachel rolled over and peeked at her ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, and the father of her child, through slitted eyes. How had she ended up in bed with him? Then she remembered. His goodbye, or lack therof, and her confession had led to this. As he smiled happily at her, she felt the bile rise up in the back of her throat. 'It's because you mean more to me. It's because you mean more to me. It's because you mean more to me.' Her own words echoed in her ears. How could she have said that?   
  
Ross curled up closer to her and cupped her hand in his. "Last night was...amazing." He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. "It was perfect."   
  
She forced a grin. "Yeah," she managed to say. "I've, uh, I've got to go."   
  
"Oh," Ross said, and she couldn't help but notice his disappointment. However, she remained silent.   
  
Once she finished buttoning her pants and making sure her shirt was on right, she turned to face him. "I'll-I'll talk to you later, okay?" Jokingly, she added, "I won't leave for Paris without saying goodbye. I've learned my lesson." And she left.   
  
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Curled up in her bed, Rachel cried. She cried for everything she'd done. She cried because she'd screwed everything up. She cried because Ross thought she loved him, that she was in love with him.   
  
She wasn't.   
  
She wanted to be. It would be easier that way, she knew. They were Ross and Rachel. They were meant to be together. But she couldn't force herself to be in love with him, much as she tried. She used to be able to love him. She did love him, years before. But now...   
  
Now everything was different. Everything was all changed up and switched around, and she didn't know who she loved. Or if she loved anyone. She loved her friends, but it wasn't the same kind of love. And she loved her daughter. And she was taking that job in Paris.   
  
No matter what.   
  
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Joey looked up from the baby chick and the baby duck to see Ross entering the apartment. "Hey," he greeted quickly. "How'd it go with Rachel last night?"   
  
"We, uh, we worked things out," Ross answered vaguely.   
  
Phoebe quirked an eyebrow and said, "What's with the huge smile? Did something happen between you two?"   
  
"Well," Ross said, indeed grinning like a madman. "I'm not one to kiss and tell." A pause. "But I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it!"   
  
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In the next room, Rachel fumed. He was just telling all of them? Was that really Joey and Phoebe's business? She buried her head under a pillow. She didn't want to hear any more.   
  
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"Are you two getting back together?" Joey wondered.   
  
"I don't know," Ross said. "We didn't have a chance to talk. But...I want to. I do. Last night, it just felt so...right, you know."   
  
"Well, you are Ross and Rachel," said Phoebe pointedly. "It always feels right between you two."   
  
Ross glowed. "We are right together. We're perfect together."   
  
Phoebe said, "Is she still going to Paris?"   
  
"I don't know. She made a joke about it, but I don't know if she really is going. Is she here?"   
  
"She's asleep," said Joey.   
  
"Oh, okay." Ross sighed. "I'll just...go then. Bye."   
  
"Bye," Joey and Phoebe said at the same time. Phoebe turned to him and said, "I got to go, too. Brunch with Mike, my husband."   
  
"I know he's your husband."   
  
Phoebe smiled happily over her shoulder as she left. "I just like saying it. My husband. Yay for me!"   
  
Joey laughed at his friend, then looked back at the poultry in the box in front of him. "Hey, little guys. Monica and Chandler are gonna love you!" His eyes widened suddenly, and he grabbed the phone and dialed. The answering machine went off. "It's me. I forgot to tell you earlier..."   
  
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"...You're an almost adopted uncle! Erica went into labor last night. Mon and Chandler are at the hospital now. They're gonna call later. Bye."   
  
Ross hit the delete button on his answering machine. It was the best day ever. Monica and Chandler were getting their baby, and he and Rachel were back together.   
  
Weren't they?   
  
He honestly didn't know. He hoped so. He prayed that they were. He loved her so much, and he knew it. And he had to keep her from going to Paris.   
  
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Joey knocked hesitantly on Rachel's bedroom door . He didn't want to wake her, but he couldn't wait to talk to her about Ross. She really was his best friend, other than Chandler, and he wanted to know what everyone wanted to know–Were she and Ross getting back together?  
  
"What do you want?" Rachel's muffled voice asked him.  
  
He pushed the door open and saw her laying on her bed, her head buried in the covers. "Ross came over to see you," he began cautiously, sensing she wasn't in a good mood.  
  
"Oh god," she groaned as she rolled over to face him. "Joey, what am I going to do? He thinks...I think he thinks I'm in love with him."  
  
He sat on the edge of her bed. "Are you?"  
  
"No," she said. "No! No! No!" She took a deep breath. "GODDAMN IT! I DO NOT LOVE ROSS!"  
  
"Okay," he said. "So...you don't love Ross. Why did you guys...you know, last night?"  
  
"I don't know." She shrugged. "I...may have told him that he meant more to me than you guys, and that's why I didn't say goodbye. And at that time, I really thought he did mean more. But I woke up this morning knowing. Knowing I loved him, but not like that. Knowing I used to love him like that, but I don't anymore."  
  
"You have to tell him," Joey said. "You can't let him think...what he thinks. He doesn't deserve that."  
  
"I know. I know. He doesn't. But he's the father of my child. I don't want to alienate him."  
  
Joey frowned at her. "I don't think that you tell him you don't love him is going to get him abducted."  
  
"No," Rachel said. "What I mean is--" She glanced at him. "Oh, never mind."  
  
"You have to tell him, and that's that. But, if you want to make it easier, why don't you try rehearsing it on me. I know that when I get a script, it makes it easier to do the scene if we rehearse it." Rachel stared at him, a look seeming to say "Duh." But she nodded in agreement, and he said, "Good. Go."  
  
She took a deep breath. "Ross, I...I know that last night I told you that you meant more to me than everyone else. And I really thought you did. But, here's the thing–you don't. You still mean so much to me, don't get me wrong. I still love you, like I love, say, Chandler. I'm just not in love with you."  
  
Joey smiled. "See, that wasn't so hard."  
  
"But you're Joey and not Ross, so it doesn't affect you like it does him."  
  
"He won't get mad," Joey said, "if he does love you. He'll understand because he loves you. He'll want you to be happy because he loves you."  
  
Rachel sighed. The sigh was full of despair, sadness, regret, and something else. Relief. Relief that soon it would all be over.  
  
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End of chapter.  
  
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A/N: So, what do you think?? Good or bad, I'd like to know. In fact, if it is bad, I'd REALLY like to know. 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter 2  
  
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Rachel studied her shiny, pink fingernails. They were long, but not so long that she couldn't do anything with her hands. She'd had nails like that before, in high school. She remembered not being able to write or pick up a piece of paper or pull her keys out of her purse. And when she did manage to get something done, she just ended up having to file and touch up her nails. So, finally she'd taken the nail file and filed them down to a reasonable length. She'd loved those nails. They had been the envy of every other girl in school. The day she cut them short had been the hardest in her life.  
  
Until now.  
  
Well, okay. Childbirth hadn't been easy, either. Or when she watched the man she loved get married to some English twit named Emily. Or when she found out he cheated on her because they had been "on a break." On a break, her ass.  
  
What was the common denominator in all of these instances (except for the fingernail thing), the one point that linked them? Ross. Ross, as her daughter's dad, as her boyfriend, and as her ex. And now as the man she had to admit to not loving.  
  
"Here goes nothing," she muttered to herself. But she knew that she really meant, "Here goes everything." She lifted her closed fist and knocked on Ross's door. It promptly swung open.  
  
"Rachel," he said, smiling.   
  
"Hi," she replied timidly. She couldn't look him in the eye.  
  
He leaned down and kissed her on the lips. She didn't have the heart to resist him, but she wasn't returning his affections. He noticed. "What's wrong?" There was anxiety in his voice. She could hear it. Ross was afraid of what she was going to say.  
  
Rachel walked into his apartment, and he followed closely behind. The two sat on the couch, not looking at one another--she couldn't bear to face him, and he was afraid of what he wouldn't see. Ross fidgeted with a dinosaur model on his coffee table, and Rachel resumed staring at her fingernails. Fianlly, unable to withstand the tension a second longer, she said, voice low, "Ross."  
  
"Mmmhmm?" he asked, eyes wide and attentive.  
  
"Last night. It was--"  
  
"Wait," he interrupted. "I know what you're going to say."  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Yes." He smiled brightly, and she took this as a sign that he certainly did not know what she was going to say. "You're going to say that last night was great. It was amazing. But did it mean as much to me as it did to you?" He took her hands in his. "The answer is yes." She opened her mouth to stop him, but he shushed her and continued, "Rachel, I love you. I love you. So, don't go to Paris. We can be together."  
  
She sighed. Why was he making this so hard? Why was he doing this to her? She didn't want to hurt him. But she had to, she knew she had to. With renewed strength, she said, "Ross, I can't not go. I want to go. No, I need to go. For me." He looked confused. "And--" She broke off. "I had a whole speech. But, I guess it boils down to the fact that I just don't love you."He blinked and remained silent. "Ross?" she asked, hoping he would speak. But he didn't, so she looked away from him uncomfortably and said nothing.  
  
Finally, she heard a stirring. "You don't love me?" he said.  
  
"No," she replied. "Not in a romantic way," she amended.  
  
"You told me I meant more to you than everyone else. That implies a romantic love," he informed her, his voice growing shrill.  
  
"I know," she said guiltily. Miserably. "I thought I meant it. I was sure I meant it. Then. But when I woke up this morning, I knew it wasn't true."   
  
He demanded, "Why? Why don't you love me?"  
  
She shrugged and wiped off her cheek, which was wet with tears. "I don't know. I just don't. But, Ross, I want to. I want to love you so bad. If I could...but I can't. I can't make myself love you."  
  
"Try," he said.  
  
"What?" she asked, taken aback.  
  
"Try. Try to love me."  
  
She brought her fingers to her lips, trying to stop herself form breaking down. "Oh, sweetie, I am. I am trying." She laughed a humorless laugh. "It's not working."  
  
"Oh." His voice echoed with disappointment.  
  
"I'm gonna leave now," she said gently. "And...I'm sorry."  
  
His words reached her on the other side of the door, slightly muffled: "Yeah. So am I."  
  
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Joey bombarded her with questions immediately. "How'd it go? How'd he take it? Did you go through with it? Was he mad? Did he cry? Did you cry?" She distracted him with a sandwich she'd bought from a street vendor on her way back home, and she was allowed some quiet for fifteen minutes.  
  
The look on Ross's face...it would haunt her. He'd been so crushed. She hated making him feel that way. She shouldn't have that power. No one should.  
  
"Oh, Rachel, while you were gone, Chandler called."  
  
"He did? What did he say?" she asked, thankful for a diversion.  
  
"All of us should head down to the hospital, to see the baby. He also said something about a big surprise."  
  
"A big surprise?" she said. "Is that a good thing, a big surprise? I mean, when it has to do with a baby?"  
  
He smiled. "I don't know."  
  
"So, come on," she said. "Let's go."  
  
"First you have to tell me what happened with Ross."  
  
She glared at him. "I don't want to talk about it."  
  
He sensed that she was serious and said, "That bad, huh?"  
  
"It wasn't–I don't know. I don't know. He said about three words when I told him." She groaned, frustrated. "I don't know if he forgives me, if he's confused, or if he just hates me. I wouldn't blame him if he did."  
  
Joey approached her and lay a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It'll be okay. Everything will be okay. Okay?"  
  
"Yeah. I guess."  
  
"Let's go to the hospital then."  
  
Rachel frowned. "Will Ross be there?"  
  
Shrugging, he said, "I don't know. Probably. He is Monica's brother."  
  
"Then I'm not going."  
  
"Come on," he urged. "Don't you want to see the baby before you leave?"  
  
"Well," she said, dragging the word out. "Yes, but–"  
  
He pulled her up and guided her towards the door, stepping carefully over a half-eaten slice of pizza. "Let's go then."  
  
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The hospital was as all hospitals are–white and clean, accentuated by the scent of sickness, death, and childbirth. Nothing special.  
  
But Rachel barely noticed any of it. She saw it, but she did not take it in. She was too busy watching. Watching for Ross. She'd already thought she'd seen him three times, and they weren't even to the reception desk. She couldn't stand this horrible waiting.  
  
A flash of white walked in front of her, and Joey pulled on her arm to keep her from running into the nurse. However, the girl with a name tag that read "Nurse Casey," stopped and asked Rachel if she was okay, to which Rachel responded, "F-fine, thank you."  
  
Joey smiled at the pretty nurse. "How you doin'?"  
  
Rachel suddenly felt relief at her friend's words. Even at a hospital, when two of his friends were getting their baby, and two of his other friends were having some major relationship issues, he was the ladies' man he always was.  
  
It was nice to know some things never change.  
  
Unfortunately, it was just as Rachel was calming down that a familiar voice said from behind her, "I need to talk to you."  
  
She whirled around and saw the one person she had been hoping to avoid–Ross Geller.   
  
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A/N: For those of you Ross/Rachel fans, this story is not going to exclude that possibility. I know some of you think that, but I already have an ending written to which I could write a R/R sequel if I wanted...I just wanted a Rachel being on her own and going to Paris like she wanted fic. Maybe I'll write a R/R sequel or alternate ending or something to it...maybe not...I don't know... 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three   
  
'Is a hospital supposed to be this dirty?' was all that Rachel could think. It was true. In the corner that Ross had dragged her over to, there were cobwebs gathering in the place where the two walls and the floor met. She peeked curiously, trying to see if a spider was crawling around down there.   
  
He was talking. His voice was loud and angry, and the little production he was performed was receiving mroe than a few strange glances. But Rachel didn't care. Because she wasn't listening.   
  
It was almost too easy to tune Ross out. Usually she did it because he was rambling about some dinosaur thing, but now it was because she didn't want to hear his accusing words, and she didn't want to know how much he hated her at that moment.   
  
She glanced over at Joey, who, while chatting up the pretty blonde nurse, kept throwing anxiously curious looks her and Ross's way. She coldn't help but envy that nurse. Not only was she drop-dead gorgeous, but she wasn't in the situation Rachel was. No, she was getting hit on by a television star.   
  
Rachel was jolted from her thoughts as Ross lightly shook her arm. "Are you even listening?" he wanted to know.   
  
She cast her eyes downward and replied, "Sorry."   
  
"I feel so appreciated," he said sarcastically. "Especially while admitting my undying love."   
  
"I said--wait. What?" Rachel looked up at him, surprised. "You were...?"   
  
Ross rolled his eyes and stomped in frustration. "You missed all of it? What were you doing?"   
  
"Looking for spiders," she admitted guiltily.   
  
He looked at her for a second, confused. Promptly shrieking, he backed up, and whispered, "There are spiders?"   
  
It was her turn to roll her eyes. "I didn't find any."   
  
"Oh," he said, relief flooding his voice. "Good." He looked at her. "Anyway, if you'll actually listen this time, I was saying that I can't believe you don't care about me. Think about me at all in a romantic way." He took her hands in his. "Last night, you had to have felt something."   
  
"I did feel something," she told him. "Regret. It wasn't right. It just wasn't."   
  
He looked away. He couldn't bear the words. The muttered words, "It felt right to me," met her ears, but he still wouldn't look at her.   
  
Rachel touched his shoulder. "Oh, honey--"   
  
"Don't," he yelled, "touch me." Quieter, "If you don't love me, then don't touch me. Don't act like you feel something for me."   
  
"Ross, I do love you, as my friend. You're my friend and I value that more than you can imagine. And you're also Emma's dad, and we both love her so much." He looked up slowly and nodded. He did love his daughter. "You can hate me. But please don't compromise her happiness."   
  
His mouth hung open, stunned. She could see what he was thinking: 'I'M compromising her happiness? ME?' All he said, however, was, "You're the one moving away."   
  
"I know. But you know that I wouldn't leave if I didn't know for certain that I will be able to ensure her comfort and yours."   
  
"Well," he said, voice once again rising, drawing a few looks. "I'm just not comfortable with you off in Paris!"   
  
Nurse Casey, Joey's blonde friend, approached. "Excuse me," she said, "but I'm going to have to ask you to be a little quieter."   
  
"Sorry," she muttered, looking sharply at Ross.   
  
The nurse went back to fondling Joey's hand and whispering into his ear. Rachel looked over at the happy couple longingly. She and Ross could be like that. If only she could love him.   
  
Ross saw where she was looking. "Does this have to do with Joey?"   
  
Impatiently, she replied, "Does what have to do with Joey?"   
  
"You not loving me."   
  
She blinked at him, surprised. "No."   
  
"It does, doesn't it? You still have feelings for him. . . . Does he still love you? Huh? Are you two together?"   
  
"NO!" She lowered her voice. "No. It has nothing to do with Joey. And we're not together. Quit being ridiculous."  
  
"Is it really that ridiculous?" he asked. "You were dating him, and you did like him. Who says you still don't?  
  
"I say!" she replied impatiently. "God, why don't you just trust me?"  
  
He stared at her for a moment and then said, his voice ice cold, "Why should I?" He promptly turned and walked away, leaving Rachel staring after him in horror, his words still echoing in her ears, stinging her.   
  
Ross was right. Why should he trust her?  
  
She looked back at the corner she had been staring at so intently before, and this time she spotted a small black spider crawling up the eggshell white wall.  
  
End of Chapter.  
  
A/N: Sorry it took so long. Sorry this chapters so short. There will be one or two more chapters to this story. So, its almost done. I promise to finish it by the end of summer, okay? Hopefully, actually, before I go on vacation in July. That's my goal, anyway. 


End file.
